I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
