So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
