Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
only if we run a train.
done.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
