Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
