is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize