remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
