Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
