Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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