The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
