at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
