He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
