Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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