Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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