sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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