He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
