She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
