I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
