My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
