OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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