So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
