Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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