I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
