she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
