so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
