I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
