Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
