Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
