dude i'm inner monologue high
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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