One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
