did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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