my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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