I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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