oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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