God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
