Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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