Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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