No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
