now i know why i became what i already was.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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