if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize