You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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