Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
