talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
