Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
