After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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