Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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