10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
