ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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