Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
