I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
