Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Randomize
