i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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