hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I came so hard my ears popped.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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