Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
