Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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