Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
