please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize