I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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