Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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