Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
