Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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