it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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