Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
