If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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