If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
