Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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