WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
