so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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