4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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