Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
