OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i barfeds in our rink
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
