I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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