it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
